An ultra sexy, and ultra pantless/topless, Gisele Bündchen will grace the cover of GQ for their July 2008 issue. Normally we’d make a joke about how incredibly hot she is, but this shoot is so seriously sexy that your jaw will be too dropped for you to laugh, anyway. Enjoy!
It feels like we’ve featured Marisa Miller on COED every other day this week. Is that such a bad thing? Sure, the internet on the verge of Marisa Miller overload but it’s hard not to be when there are so many new pictures popping up all over the place.
After the jump take a look at Marisa’s July 2008 Maxim Magazine picture, you won’t be disappointed!
The media loves to plaster pictures of top-heavy ladies all over movie screens, TV screens, computer screens… basically, if you’re near a screen of any kind, odds are you’re not far from an image of some C-cup or larger gozangas.
And while I generally stick to the mantra “big, small, I like them all,” I must confess that I have a particular affinity for a more compact set. You may consider yourself a “tit man,” but consider the following advantages of petite funbags.
1) It’s easy to find your way around a smaller rack. Once you get up into the D-cup range, you practically need a map and a “you are here” arrow to maneuver around unless you have Shaq-hands.
2) During sex, the wee boobies don’t flop violently all over the place; they bounce daintily like a pair of constantly-affirming yes-men. Personally, I can’t sustain eye contact with a pair of jiggling fish floppers without thinking of a pair of spastic Muppets… just me?
3) Girls with huge baby pillows expect guys to go straight for the boobs in the bedroom, and are sometimes upstaged by said boobs. They’re more likely to be bored the second you take off their bra and start drooling. However, girls with smaller boobs aren’t always confident about that area of their body, so they’re more likely to appreciate it when attention—optical or manual—is paid to it.
4) A-cup boobs are way more likely to retain some perkiness up into middle age; full C and D boobs rarely defy gravity past the age of 40—or past a couple of kids. Something to think about for all you marrying types…
5) Girls with “tig ol’ bitties” often suffer from back pain, which can lead to chronic problems in the long run. So if you think about it, a long-term partner with little ones will be more likely to be having sex with you up into old age.
Ultimately, your tastes are your tastes–and more importantly, you never know when you’re going to fall hopelessly in love with a girl whose looks don’t match what you think of as “your type.” If you’re in the right relationship—in theory—it doesn’t matter if her boobs are mosquito bites or belly drapes. But the moral of the story is: Don’t be seduced by the constant deluge of big-tittied women in the media, because bigger isn’t necessarily better.
Also, start calling big breasts Sweater Muffins, Jemimas, and Lady Sacks.
Do you ever wonder why certain people are famous? Especially when they are four-foot gremlin-faced whores? Well, here’s the story, according to a friend of mine who worked at StuffMagazine.com (the website for the now defunct Stuff Magazine.)
Back in 2005, the editor-in-chief of Stuff magazine wanted to capitalize on the popularity of the Internet. He called down to the online department and said, “Hey, tell me who has a lot of Myspace friends,” because he wanted to put someone on the cover of Stuff who had a “lot of Myspace friends.” The brilliant marketing plan behind this was based on the thinking that if someone on the cover had a million Myspace friends, then all those “friends” would buy that magazine and sales would skyrocket. What it showed, instead, was a complete lack of understanding of how the Internet works. When someone has a million Myspace friends, it just means that he/she spends the majority of his/her day clicking “add as a friend” or “accept.” They aren’t pals who sit around and reminisce about the good times they’ve had.
So, the online guy took 10 seconds (honestly, 10 seconds) and found a girl with an assload of MySpace friends. That, girl, of course, was Tila Tequila, and she appeared on the April 2006 cover of Stuff.
The editor’s big plan failed (the cover sold the same as every other one), but Tila Tequila somehow got famous. A girl whose biggest claim to fame up to that point had been a Playboy cyber girl in 2002 (which is basically the sewage drain of wannabe models) and some other crap you never saw. She even attempted to enter Maxim’s Hometown Hotties in 2005, but was too stupid to mail in the proper forms.
Instead of letting Tila fade off into the world of failed models who end up in hardcore pornography, the Stuff cover put her in the mainstream media. Now we have to hear her singing about sucking cock til she hurls and see her star in yet another reality show. Thanks, Stuff Magazine.
